


The Weight of Our tasks

by wth_am_i_writing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Gore, Human Sacrifice, Murder, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-09-30 05:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17217635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: Somewhere in the back of your heart, you always knew that Hongbin was the one who would carry you, but it was too cruel.





	The Weight of Our tasks

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on June 22, 2015.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: Sorry I’ve been gone so long… After I posted “Feeling Nothing” my inspiration and motivation kinda died out… I have no idea how hard it’ll be to move forward with writing from here, but at least I had some focus to do other things during the last several weeks. I was finally motivated to write again after reading something that pissed me off (no, I won’t tell you what) so I decided to write angst. This fic is closer to the original form of the idea that eventually became “Feeling Nothing”. As a result, you’ll see some parallels (and also see how damn far some of my ideas change between what I originally think and what ends up getting written). Though I have to say, in this, the characters are significantly less asshole-y than the original idea;; and I added a bonus scene at the end to capture some of the extended history of the characters that just wasn’t captured in the original. Anyway… Hope you guys enjoy!

“Hongbin, do you remember when we were teenagers?” you asked, not entirely sure that the man carrying you on his back could hear you over the sounds of fighting just outside the forest.

“Yeah,” Hongbin answered, out of breath. His pace was hurried, not quite a full run as he had the burden of your weight and was trying not to draw attention to the two of you.

“Do you remember when I sprained my ankle near the bottom of the temple stairs and you carried me back to the top?” you asked.

“How could I forget?” Hongbin answered, his tone a mixture of nostalgia and annoyance. “I complained that you were heavy and you refused to eat. N scolded me for half an hour and said I wasn’t allowed to eat until you did.” You wrapped your arms tighter around his shoulders, smiling guiltily.

“Right now, this really reminds me of back then,” you said, squeezing him tighter with your thighs as he suddenly swerved to avoid a low tree branch.

“Except you’re not heavy anymore,” Hongbin comforted. You laughed once, resting your head on the back of Hongbin’s as conflicting emotions churned in your stomach. That had been eight years ago, and while your body hadn’t changed terribly much since then, Hongbin had grown tall and broad and strong.

“The weight of my body may not be heavy for you anymore, but this task you have is heavier than any physical burden could be,” you argued, mood darkening. “I’m sorry it had to be you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Hongbin panted. “The entire battle rides on getting you safely to the inner shrine. It’s an honor to carry you.” You stifled back tears at his words, not wanting to think of what was to come after his job was complete.

The city was under demon attack, the old barrier that prevented them from materializing in this world having eroded away decades ago. Millennia ago, conflict arose between humans and demons–creatures that could move between the human and spirit worlds. Eventually humans were able to force the much more powerful demons out using barriers that prevented them from materializing in the human world–causing demons to only be able to exist in a powerless spirit form when in the human world. This angered the demons, resulting in wars every few centuries when the barriers eroded away. Hongbin’s task in this battle was to get you to the inner shrine of the main temple in the city. Your task was to help finish a new barrier.

“You might not be able to make it back to your fiancee,” you argued, just barely managing to keep everything together. Peeking up over his shoulder, you could see the edge of the forest and the stone steps to the temple.

“I’ll get you there safely, and we’ll both walk away from this battle the victors,” Hongbin reassured you, his confident smile audible in his voice. You couldn’t stop the tear that broke free and rolled down your cheek but you managed to rein your emotions in before a second could fall. You didn’t want to cry, but the fact that it was Hongbin carrying you was cruel. You weren’t sure if you could continue holding everything together, weren’t sure if you could be as strong as you needed to be for everything to work out. Completion of both of your tasks meant parting from Hongbin, but failure meant certain death for everyone that could rebuild the barriers.

Hongbin paused at the edge of the stairs and looked both up and down the stone path. There was fighting down towards the base of the stairs, but the path leading to the temple was clear. You could just barely make out the barrier surrounding the temple a few meters up the staircase–the other three shrine maidens had already made it to the inner shrine. You turned to look down at the fighting as Hongbin proceeded to run up the stairs, much faster now than he’d been able to go at fourteen years old. The distant figures of the demons were frightening in their etherealness, their familiar-yet-jarringly-different features and their telltale white hair. You were pulled from your thoughts by the sting of the barrier when Hongbin passed through it, a pained whimper slipping past your lips.

“Did it hurt?” Hongbin asked, the syllables jagged and breathless from the strain of the stairs–he still had another two landings until he reached the top.

“A little,” you answered. “But not as bad as it probably hurts for the demons.” The creatures fighting the town folk around the temple base couldn’t touch the barrier without their physical bodies dying, leaving you vaguely awed at your ability to pass through–though you still felt a dull buzzing pain through your body.

“We’re almost there at least,” Hongbin tried to reassure. You gripped him tighter.

“If I still had my feet, I’d ask you to put me down here and let me go the rest of the way myself,” you said. Hongbin paused on a landing, gripping your legs tighter and hiking you up on his back before starting up the last flight of stairs.

“Even if you had feet, I wouldn’t send you the rest of the way alone,” Hongbin objected, obviously displeased that you even suggested it. “Who knows if a powerful demon is up there.”

“They can’t exist within the barrier. I’d be safe,” you corrected him.

“It still wouldn’t feel right to send you on alone. It’s my job that you actually make it to the inner shrine,” Hongbin objected. “Besides, you’re my friend.” You smiled bitterly. This was too cruel. You wished Hongbin wasn’t the one to carry you to the inner shrine, wished it didn’t have to be the man you loved, your only childhood friend. You wished he wasn’t acting so kind, wished he’d never started being kind to you in the first place. You wished N hadn’t been required to cut your feet off when you turned sixteen to make it harder for you to run away from the temple. You wished you’d been born a woman Hongbin could fall in love with, wished you hadn’t watched him fall in love with someone that was allowed to love him back, wished that he was allowed to love you.

Hongbin made it to the top of stairs and paused just long enough to make sure there were no threats. The only thing you could see were human corpses–town folk, monks, and priests alike–but Hongbin didn’t stay still long enough for you to get a good look at any faces. He barreled through the doors to the temple and before you knew it, he was navigating the battle damaged halls to the inner shrine.

He slowed when he approached the jarred doors of the shrine, the putrid stench of blood thick. You fought back tears, terrified of the room ahead. Two guards were ripped apart in the hallway before the door and the head priest of the eastern temple lay dead in the doorway. Hongbin stepped past the corpses and stilled a few feet into the shrine room, his muscles tensing as he took in the sight you already knew awaited you.

The head priests from the southern, western and main temple were scattered across the floor, ripped and slashed to death. N, head priest of the northern temple–your temple–was leaning against the altar; his hands and robes stained red and three corpses that were more similar in appearance to you than any human at his feet. Footless, scarred, white hair, blank red eyes, fangs, child like appearances despite the years they lived. They were ugly, like you. Feared by the townsfolk, like you. Half demons, like you. You didn’t want Hongbin to see this. You didn’t want Hongbin to know this was your fate.

“Hongbin, you made it safely,” N’s voice broke through the air, drawing both of your attentions back to him. N was the man that had been in charge of you from the time you were a small child, that had mentored Hongbin’s monkhood until he reached adulthood and N became the head priest of his temple. His normally comforting visage was anything but soothing.

“What the hell happened here?” Hongbin asked, shocked. You gripped his shoulders tighter, already guessing how everything transpired.

“Demons chased the first two maidens all the way here. They killed the other priests before we were able to start the barrier,” N explained, straightening and stepping in front of the bodies of the other maidens, arms out stretched and bleeding wounds visible on his torso and arms. “But we don’t have much time left, hand her to me quickly.”

“What about the other shrine maidens?” Hongbin asked. “Why are they–”

“This is what has to be done. We need their souls and magic, not their bodies,” N explained, stepping forward. You flinched at his words, gripping onto Hongbin tighter and burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Now hand her over.”

“You have to kill them?” Hongbin asked, horrified, tensing defensively.

“There isn’t time left, Hongbin. The demons are already swarming the royal palace. We need to get the city-wide barrier up,” N urged, taking another step forward. “Give her to me.”

“You’re going to kill her?” Hongbin shouted as he stepped back, voice trembling. “You raised her!” You released Hongbin’s shoulders and pushed back on them.

“Hongbin, it’s ok,” you assured. “I knew. It has to be this way. Even if you find another half-demon to replace me, I wouldn’t be able to live inside the barrier once it’s completed. I’d rather go this way. Hand me over quickly.” Hongbin bulked for a few moments, body tense and trembling, before moving forward stiffly. He kneeled down just before N and the priest hoisted you up into his arms, easily able to lift your still teenaged frame. “I’m sorry you had to be the one to bring me,” you apologized as Hongbin stood, voice unstable. Hongbin didn’t respond, only tensed more.

N turned to place you on the altar, his touch familiar and gentle. Once settled, you peered around N to get a final look at Hongbin as N pulled the ceremonial knife from his robes–you wanted the last thing you saw to be him. He was looking back at you over his shoulder, tears on his cheeks. You felt your heart breaking twofold because you didn’t want to leave Hongbin behind yet knew the reason he was crying was because he was losing a _friend_. Yet you were determined not to cry despite how much your heart hurt. You’d come to terms with everything the night your feet were taken. You’d stay strong because this was how you could protect Hongbin’s happiness. Hongbin turned away sharply when N raised his hand. The last thing you saw as the knife pierced your chest was Hongbin’s retreating back.

-.-.-.-.-.- Bonus -.-.-.-.-

_You sat on the back porch of the temple, tucked into N’s arms on his lap. Hongbin was helping some of the other young monks prepare the wood stores for the winter. They’d been carrying wood across the yard, talking casually and laughing for the last hour. You’d been sitting alone watching them until N had come twenty minutes ago and pulled you into his lap. He always seemed to sense when you were lonely and made sure to make you know that you weren’t completely alone._

_“You keep watching Hongbin,” N observed, voice quiet enough that only you would be able to hear him. “Do you like him?” You shook your head vigorously._

_“He’s just pretty,” you said. N laughed, loud enough to draw the attention of the young monks. You sank into N’s arms, attempting to disappear under his long sleeves. N leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You pouted slightly, not liking his reaction and patronizing. Hongbin was so different from you that you found yourself unconsciously seeking his approval–approval you knew probably wouldn’t come. He was beautiful, human. You were neither. You were tolerated out of necessity and few acknowledged you beyond your role as shrine maiden._

_“Pretty, but he has an awfully ugly tongue,” N agreed. “What he said the other day hurt you didn’t it?” You stayed quiet, not wanting to acknowledge how much Hongbin complaining about how heavy you were had hurt you. “If he keeps doing work like today, eventually he’ll be even stronger than me.”_

_“Strong enough to carry me without falling?” you asked, remembering how Hongbin had stumbled under your weight._

_“All the way to the main temple without even needing a break.”_

_“Do you think he could like me some day too?” you asked, regretting the question as soon as you asked it. “Like you do?” you amended quickly._

_“Mmm, maybe,” N hummed thoughtfully. He pressed another kiss atop your head and squeezed you tighter. “But I think it’s better if he doesn’t.”_


End file.
